Looking for a particular post or topic? Search here!

Where My Readers Are From

Flag Counter

Who's Reading HFM Life

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Throes of Motherhood ... Struggling With A Very Difficult Child

Sherilyn is driving me NUTS! She has been really stretching my patience till the threshold level is now breached. I feel like strangling her!! Each time I do revision with her, I wonder if she is dyslexic. It seems as if nothing goes into her head. Before each revision session begins, I can be sure to get the usual load of excuses from her to stall time! First, she will say I want to pee, then I want to drink water, I want to pack my bag first, I want this particular pencil, I want to sharpen my pencil first, I want this and that... and when the actual revision begins, she will yawn and doze off mid way!

Today is bad. She shocked me with her output. After explaining common nouns, proper nouns, punctuation marks and countable nouns to her since yesterday (actually it was since her pre school days), she gave me all crap in the English Grammar workbook that I had asked her to do. Next, she whined, cried and screamed over every little issue at home. She fights with Alycia all the time. Alycia is a neat and clean freak while Sherilyn is the exact opposite, so Sherilyn's slapdash attitude irates Alycia all the time when she causes haphazard in the bedroom and around the house. Alycia is always the one who would volunteer to clean up and clear up her 2 sisters' things and mess. When Sherilyn took Alycia's Geronimo Stilton book to read just before bedtime just now, there was a big war. Now they are sleeping in separate bedrooms!! Alycia refused to lend Sherilyn the book as she said that her sister will throw the book on the floor after reading and scribble the book with a pen... which is true. I am really at lost on how to manage Sherilyn. Her lackadaisical attitude towards life and studies and her daily screams, whines and cries are driving me insane!! Does anyone have a child who is like this?

12 comments:

coffeesncookies said...

Sounds sooooooooo familiar.. but mine does it for attention. We've been giving her negative attention..reprimanding, nagging, scolding. Recently we try (very hard) to be positive and give her all positive attention before she cracks up and it works, but it's really hard holding back and not scream at the slight annoyance.
Hang in there..

mommy to chumsy said...

perhaps this is the 'middle-child' syndrome?

Health Freak Mommy said...

Elaine, yep a LOT of hard work, tons of patience and time are needed to change Sherilyn. Not sure if I can do it.

Health Freak Mommy said...

Barb, I doubt so. I am a middle child and I was never like this when I was young. I dared not act like this, else I would have to face the wrath of my grandma and parents!

Ann said...

Sounds like my girl. Though she isn't big enough for lessons yet. But she does create ALOT of trouble with her kor kor. RIght now I also don't bother to ask them to share. I just demand them not to fight. :)

Anonymous said...

Exactly like my boy, and he is the same age as yours. When I asked him to bring out his books for revision, I can be sure to wait for at least 20 mins. Until now, he is weak in his maths especially substraction and spelling. I try to tell myself at least he is not handicapped, he is health and in essense a rather nice well behaved child. So hang in there and look at the bright side.

Granny Stella Wong Yeow said...

Try to make revision time funtime. Have the 2 sisters take a quiz on maths, grammar, ejaan, spelling, anything. They'll enjoy it, it's like a game. Try it, it works magically. I've done it a few times with them before and they loved it. Healthy competition and it prompts them to study harder for the next quiz...

Yannie said...

I have just started a new reward scheme for April and May. Every week, they have ting xie, ejaan and spelling in school and tuition class. I want 100% correct from them. One 100%, they get RM 1. I will keep the money for two weeks, then, bring them to book store to buy things that they like. So far, my 6 year-old hasn't got any less than 100%. My 8 year-old got one mistake yesterday for Ting Xie, I told her that she had lost RM1 this week. I really keep my promise and firm on my reward scheme.

Health Freak Mommy said...

Mum, I actually tried the quiz method and yes it did create competition and fun between A & S. But I can't use the quiz trick all the time as sometimes Alycia may not be free to engage in quizzes due to her heavy load of homework both fr school & tuition. Certain things - I just need to explain to Sherilyn alone as Alycia already knows them very well.

Sheoh Yan - I may try your reward system, sounds very motivating!

Chris said...

I like the reward system too! It is what the real working world is all about! Here are some suggestions...give S 30 mins to prepare for her work, so in that time she has to get her bag ready, use the bathroom, etc etc. Then it is down to homework for an hour, let's say, absolutely no breaks, then take a break of 20 mins where she can do whatever, then back to homework. With regards to responsibilities/ privacy etc among the 3 girls, have it written and signed. Baby C is too little to write but u can make drawings, cut out pics from newspapers/ mags etc to help her out. Then the "contract" is signed (make it like it is carved in stone!) by EVERYONE in the family and that will be the law of the land! Trust me, I had to do this for my kids and also for my husb who I still refer to as my "oldest" boy! Good luck!!

Anonymous said...

Hi,

Would like to just give my views on the above post. Hmmm, view Sherilyn in a positive manner and not negative everytime. Forgive me if I sound offensive but I do note that you have written quite a few good things abt Alycia but rarely on Sherilyn, thus she might in the future feel hurt when she reads your blog. She won't view it the way you may expect (ie, to let her know how naughty & difficult she is when she was young) and also it will definitely leaves you with a deep impression of how difficult she is and this impression will only allow you to view her negatively and never positively. You won't in any way think and say positive things abt her. Secondly, never compare yourself (when you were at Sherilyn's age) and her. It is very different. I know parents like to compare themselves with their kids and ask your kid why did she not turn out to be like you when you were younger. Nowadays, life is very different from back then. Nowadays, living in this world is isn't as simple as before.

Sherilyn is a special child. She has great potential (may not be academic but it could be something else). Give you & her a chance. You might want to really find out more abt your child and see which area is she good at and see if you could help her in some way or another to achieve it. For Sherilyn, she might not show it or say it out but she wants mummy & daddy to be proud of her. She might want to take this opportunity to show everybody that she is not the kind of child that mummy always say she is. She will excel and grow very well if mummy & daddy could guide her and give her space to grow her way. Hmmm, academic maybe impt in this world nowadays but if she grows up struggling with academics and not given a chance to shine then I think she might not excel and the situation will worsen.

Bring her to competitions for kids, give her a chance to shine and in order to not let it affect her in terms of school, homework, and exams, let it be an incentive for her to do her hwk. Tell her that if she doesn't finish her hwk and revision for her tests & exams and other responsibilites you assigned her, she won't get to participate in this particular competition.

You really have to try out all kinds of methods with her to find out which works best on her. Good luck and keep us updated! Smiles..

Cheers!

Health Freak Mommy said...

Chris & anonymous, thanks for the great tips!